Dating can be tough. After being single for years, you get into patterns -- making decisions without considering anyone else, feeling the way you feel whenever you feel it and, in my case, living by the seat of my pants. Every day for years, I've woken up and made a decision about what to do that day, without asking anyone else's opinion.
Whether it's to go for brunch or to the park with my dog or to jump on a last-minute flight back to Bali my personal paradise! Now that I've been dating a wonderful man with all of the muscles! And don't get me wrong I'm absolutely thrilled to be with a man as sweet and thoughtful and fun as he is, but it can be difficult at times to make those adjustments.
One thing that has been particularly difficult is accepting that, when you're only one half of a couple, there will, sometimes, be disagreements. No matter how compatible you are or how many common interests you have, there will be times in which you don't see eye-to-eye.
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But when you've been single for as long as I have, you can forget what it's like to be in a real relationship; every time a disagreement arises, it can seem like the relationship is destined for failure. But if you think about what messages we are fed in every rom com or from our friends gushing over their so-called perfect relationships, you get one message: Understanding your relationship and knowing how to handle conflict can help you to fend off the first fight woes and get back on track.
The spark of electricity or chemistry that starts a romantic relationship isn't always enough to carry it through into a long-term commitment.
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If your relationship is based solely on attraction, after the initial physical pull wears off you may find yourself in your first fight. While it's entirely possible that your relationship can progress and eventually turn into something more, a romance built on looks alone can quickly deteriorate.
When your guy realizes that the two of you share nothing in common or you realize that your beau's only redeeming quality is his sculpted six-pack, the lack of deep feelings can cause a first fight. Adding a pinch of criticism to your first fight isn't likely to take your young relationship on to a long-lasting one.
When criticism isn't constructive and includes a personal attack on your girl or boyfriend, the results can destroy a relationship that's only in its beginning stages. While it's tempting to lash out during the emotional upheaval that a first fight may trigger, pointing fingers or blaming your partner won't make her want to stick around for more.
For example, if the two of you are making plans and you want to take her to a party at your friend's fraternity, but she wants to stay in and watch a movie, criticizing her idea or saying, "That's lame.
Your Forever Person Is Going To Be Willing To Fight For You
How boring are you to want to miss the party of the century? You've texted your guy a dozen times and he still hasn't gotten back to you.
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Unlike the past few weeks -- in which he's consistently answered you immediately -- today he just doesn't seem to care. An adult relationship fight is no place for rumors, gossip, and I-just-have-a-feelings to take center stage. Set the ground rules during the first fight to only discuss facts during arguments.
Disagreements When Dating: Dealbreaker Or No Big Deal? | HuffPost
Using this template is a great way to express how you feel for 2 reasons: As we get older, ultimatums are a little more elusive than they once were. This is an ultimatum in disguise.
If your partner is the one tossing out this cheap shot, tell her that you respect the relationship enough to refrain from making rash decisions. If she realizes she should respect the relationship too, then forgive and forget that she tried to use this tactic. Monitor your language to ensure that name-calling, foul language, accusations, and personal attacks stay out of the argument.
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You want to get through a disagreement and come out on the other side stronger and wiser than before, not resentful. Fights should stay on very specific battlegrounds. Holding onto angry words and past arguments only lets hurt feelings fester. What it make you is each a unique and individual human being doing the best that you can.