Like anything else, becoming social is something you have to develop and actively work on. You have to get the experience, have some failures, learn your lessons, and keep practicing. So why, then, do we seek the magic pill when it comes to being more socially confident and improving our dating life? I struggled to express the real Nick because I was afraid of what people would think, what they would say, and that they might reject me. It was a silly fear, but it was real in my own mind.
How to Be a Better Conversationalist
I realized that the only way things would get better to face them head-on. I fell in love with people, their stories, and their unique personalities. I became interested to hear what others had to say and to share my own thoughts and passions with them. Instead of shying away from new faces, I openly embraced them and got excited to connect with them.
Naturally, I also became more comfortable and confident with myself. The fears I had of being judged melted away. I enjoyed showing the real me to others and it was up to them to accept that person or not. I was being the best Nick I could be and I felt better than I ever had before — it was liberating and changed my life completely.
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Start small and interact with the working people you come across daily. The barista who makes your morning coffee, the toll booth guy, the cashier ringing you up at the grocery store. Seriously, I make chit chat with every single person and you should too! Introduce yourself to that girl sitting on the train, the cute blonde reading Vonnegut in the coffee shop, the pretty brunette standing behind you at the post office. Consistently escalate your dates from friendly to flirty. Sign up below to get immediate access to the First Date Field Manual.
A thought — I wonder how well these kind of chatting is received depending on where people live in the country.
Interesting phenomenon, but good for practice nonetheless…. What if she puts her clothes back on and leaves? In fact, the conversation always goes positively and we usually keep seeing each other without having to hide anything. But whether or not we do keep seeing each other, women always appreciate the honesty and we remain close friends either way. Those who feel indifferent when you break the news are usually seeing other men themselves. Confusion, on the other hand, arises when they had different ideas for the relationship. If you get the confused reaction when you break the news, the best thing to do is give them space and time to think.
A confident man with integrity would rather lose a girl by being honest than keep her around under false pretenses and end up hurting her later. Sex is better when you share it with someone. But I mean it. Honesty is the key to dating several women at the same time without guilt and without stress.
And being a high-value man with the above qualities integrity, acceptance, vulnerability, playfulness, creativity, and respect is the key to attracting high-value women. Let me know in the comments if you have any questions about that, or about maintaining relationships with several women at the same time.
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- Want to add to the discussion?;
- two months dating advice?
As a yardstick… maintaining relationships with women at a time can be great. The best way to get better at starting conversations is to go out and start conversations. Consistently escalate your dates from friendly to flirty. Sign up below to get immediate access to the First Date Field Manual. Talking about things early on is the key.
Yeah, setting the right expectations is super important and a matter of respecting the other person. That way you openly express what you want and nobody can feel lead on. Everyone hooks up with random people from Tinder even women. I definitely think the stigma is going away more and more.
- Dating 101?
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- Popular Posts.
- How to Be a Better Conversationalist.
People are getting married later and not settling into as many long-term relationships in their 20s. Imagine you saw an attractive woman fall down on the street and she dropped her things. You want her to like you in the same way that you find her attractive. That mindset causes all this anxiety.
It makes you feel like a predator. This further makes you feel disingenuous and like a fraud. You just needed help. Or you were trying to help. You can utilize those same intention to connect to proactively meet women. You need to FEEL like going up to this girl is healthy and a positive experience for both of you. I believe, at least to begin with, you should get involved with hobbies, outdoor activities, communities, sports, and events that are interesting to you.
You can find activities that are fun, challenging, or important for your personal growth. Instead, commit to just saying hello using one of the intentions below. Make that your mark for success. When you do, your mindset will often shift to one of the following three connection-based intentions. Develop a sense of wonder when out and about. What are people doing? Why are they there?
How do they know each other? How do they like the activity? Do you have a perspective you want to share? Do you have an opinion on the food, music, or environment? Is somebody doing something you find impressive? Are they showcasing real talent?
Do they have a sweet camera or backpack? Did they do something you found funny or courageous? You can even practice these in your own head before actually committing to them. Consistently escalate your dates from friendly to flirty.
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Sign up below to get immediate access to the First Date Field Manual. Really appreciate the examples of what to say. But it seems like being laid back and saying whatever pop into my head is usually the best way to go.