Maybe they like to cuddle with cats or something. Having coffee or going to eat dinner with the opposite sex is not dating. Dating is more intimate. It involves sharing personal struggles and vulnerability.
So, if you choose not to get coffee or watch a movie with the opposite sex, then whatever. He is the pie. There will be days when life is crashing down, your faith is wavering, and the only thing left is your spouse.
5 Wise Dating Practices for Christian Singles
This is the beauty of a sanctifying marriage. Without a Christian spouse, one of two things will happen: Without a Christian spouse you will either drift away from God or make your spouse a functional god. Look…Christians are called to be missionaries. The dating world, however, is not the place to be a missionary. Marry someone who loves Jesus.
And spread the gospel as missionaries together. If you have no idea what values are important to you in a future spouse, exit the road to marriage at the next off ramp. Pull over at the closest gas station and decide what you want in a future spouse. Your list is designed to give you a framework for dating, not be a checklist for it. Yes…this is a primary value. If you love the Cowboys and your future spouse loves the Packers, is it important to work through this before marriage?
No…this is a secondary value. Ever handled a shotgun? If not, let me fill you in. When you pull the trigger, these balls spread over a large range, increasing the chance you hit the target. Five of those should be keepers. Hopefully one will end up as my spouse. Not a good idea. Get to know yourself. Suddenly, when marriage begins, you are asked to flip a switch. Date with a trajectory towards marriage. God knows it is not good for man to be by himself. Enter Eve, pro-creation, and marriage not necessarily in that order.
And the most intimate community on earth is the relationship you will have with your spouse. So, pray for God to send you a spouse. Can you imagine how constantly hearing this question from friends, family, and unsuspecting old ladies makes some singles believe they have a problem? See it as an opportunity to serve God.
When you date, allow the community of people around to speak into your relationship. Your feelings can deceive you. I know too many men and women who refused to listen to people around them, and their prideful arrogance resulted in a failed marriage. Find men and women you trust, and allow them to speak into your relationship. In the process, I filled my heart and mind with lust, and I secretly struggled with pornography. Usually you will just meet someone naturally though when you are normal, socially active Christian single.
10 Principles For Christian Dating That Will Transform Lives – Frank Powell
With this transition into full adulthood, I think it is wise to slowly begin to change your dating practices. Nothing drastic at first. My point is that when you become an adult and you are more spiritually mature, you should feel freer to pursue a relationship in a more direct and intentional way. These first two points are really focusing on meeting people. When more people start getting married and you are more mature yourself, it just makes sense that you are just more active and intentional about meeting people from the opposite sex.
Another way I believe you should change your dating approach when you are getting older is the way you interact with someone that you like. As you get older, I think it is wiser to be more forward and to move faster in the relationship than you would have as a young adult.
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Because going slow or fast is not the point. The point is to date in a way that is honoring to Christ, protects your heart, but accomplishes the purpose of dating which is to see if you two want to get married. In theory, when you are older your heart should be more mature to date faster without getting hurt or too high of expectations. When you are young, you are prone to be naive and get hurt.
Hopefully you are spiritually mature enough to discern more quickly if this person is a quality Christian or not.
In short, as you mature you theoretically should not need as much time as a younger, less experienced Christian might need to gauge your compatibility with this person for marriage. Perhaps the best way to sum up my beliefs about how your dating approach should change with age is to say that you should lean more on the Christian courting side when you are a young adult and more on the Christian dating side when you are a full adult.
A quick summary is that courting emphasizes guarding your heart, taking things slow, using a period of friendship before courting, having lots of community accountability built into the courting relationship, and emphasizing the desire for marriage early in the courting relationship.
The Christian dating approach, however, focuses more on entering into a dating relationship faster, being open to dating before knowing the person really well, and waiting to talk about marriage until the dating relationship has progressed much further than when it first began.
As you get older and more mature, I think it is wise to transition away from the Christian courting model and move towards the Christian dating approach.
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